You want to talk to me on the airplane

Great you’re being friendly, getting out of your shell, but that doesn’t mean I want to talk to you. There is a chick on your other side. Talk to her. Unless you are an attractive member of the opposite sex I want nothing to do with you. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SONS BASKETBALL SCHOLARSHIP TO MIZZOU.

Corollary- sharing the armrest. Now I am not one to assert my dominance over an arm rest on an airplane but do not take over the whole damn thing. Really all I need is an itty bitty corner so my elbow doesn’t poke into my side. This is not king of the mountain. I see you squirming because you have to pee but you refuse to give up “the rest.” GOOD. SQUIRM. I have the bladder of an elephant. Or some other very large mammal.

Tsunamis

Why you gotta roll over a whole country like that?

New friend?

Yo, I just met you a week ago, you’re cool we share interests but you gotta chill out. Settle into it slowly…. You might suffocate me otherwise.

F. Middle and Last

What is up with people who use their full middle and last names but initial their first? I don't think it would bother me if they used just first initial and full last name; or even first and middle initial.
Examples of acceptable...
Ego Fatuus
E. Fatuus
E. G. Fatuus
Ego G. Fatuus
Ego Grandem Fatuus

NOT ACCEPTABLE
E. Grandem Fatuus

What's going to happen if you let the world know your first name? Is it embarrassing? I have an embarrassing first name and I would rather people know it than think of what an ass I must be to demand to be called by my first initial. GET OVE YOURSELF.