Yawn noises

You make mouth noises when you yawn. Not the typical "AhhhhhhHH!!!" sort but the mucous sound of things moving around in there. They are very disturbing and just....gross. Please stop. You call it a irrepressible bodily function... I say you're just being spiteful.

Loud mouse

My mouse clicks extra loud. I'm sorry. I bought it last year and never noticed until I was working at 5 am and it's the only thing we can hear. You're 60 feet away and I can't hear a peep from your desk, but I can hear my clicks echoing all over. Merp.

You smell me

Hi, you just smelled me. I did notice fyi and I let it go. BUT you actually complimented me on my shampoo. Maybe if it were perfume? Maybe? But shampoo? Its nothing special... not a particular scent besides soap. Does that really do it for you?

You scavange for ideas

I'm sorry you're not creative. But don't annoy me to solve your problems. Fucking deal with it and change careers.

Jet lag

Why am I getting up at five am? Screw that I want to sleep.

Hair in the shower

Yuck. Hair in the shower drain. I don't care where you are or to whom it belongs.... its just gross. I once let my brother use my shower- it looked like the swamp monster had a baby in there. I firmly believe in cleaning out the drain after every shower. You never know who may use need to use it. Now public showers don't count ie swimming pools and hotels. But your home and if you're sleeping over at a friends place. Always.

You're never around

I need you to be around more. You promise you would be and now you're off again. Come aorund when you promise to do so. Okay? Good.

Bed Bugs

You bite me. And now I have welt-like bites all over my body. You're not even in my bed- I was attacked on a airplane! But I out smarted you. Washed all my clothes, even my boots and suitcases. There is no coming back from that....

Guest annoyance! Music on trains!

Guest Annoyance!
Hi again- away on a trip to Denmark (AIEEE! right?) so I've a guest post!


Bluma's annoyance? People with ipods turned up all the way. AND she's right! nobody wants to hear your stupid music- if they did they would have it on their own ipods. There is no godly reason to listen to music that loud unless you're intentionally trying to damage your ears. Plus some people like to sleep on the train (I am not going to encourage this because for me it would mean looping around the same line 5 times and then getting mugged). To quote my friend, "if i can clearly make out the words to the song, it is too fucking loud betch!"


On a side note- I once had the pleasure of an immense black woman singing along with her ipod on the DC metro. She was NOT trying to get money just trying to pander attention from strangers. I switched cars.

Luggage

Luggage. You fucking annoy me. When I bought you, you were so so very spacious. I could fit half my wardrobe in there! In college I took you home for winter break with everything that fit in my dorm room. Now that I'm going to Copenhagen for a week and you're at capacity with just my underwear? Whats your DEAL?

Apple Juice

Oh macbook, you have held me through some hard times but recently your battery has been puting out on me randomly. I was just chatting with buds and then peaced out-no warning. Not cool. That makes me annoying.

Ice trays

Hi you.
You know who you are. That guy. That guy who uses up all the ice in the tray except for ONE cube. So when I want to make some iced tea I only have one cube. One cube don't make iced tea. It makes tepid tea. Yes, I could just drink the hot tea, or refrigerate it for 6 hours but I wanted real iced tea.
Let's make a rule, less than 6 cubes you fill it up.