Zero

Number Zero- I am calling you out.
Why is zero plural. If I had zero croissants to eat today it was not plural amount. I suppose it wasn't singular either. Maybe it is an infinite undefined amount? It is definitely sad. And sadness has no bounds, no end to its depths. Perhaps ,I will wallow in misery of not having a croissant for several more hours.

Now look what you've done Zero! You've made me hungry, sad, and confused. Good job.

I Have a Unique Name

Yes, it's pretty. Yes, it's unusual. Yes, I constantly am questioned about its origins. Its Shakespeare. The character dies a horrible death. I don't know why my parents chose it; they just did. Not a family name.

Let's move on.

You Self Promote

Sure everybody has to toot their own horn- thats really the only way to get ahead. But why do it with friends- we already know your background if we're your friend. Blah blah blah full ride to an ivy blah. Cornell is not a real ivy. If something was interesting then when you made a hint to it earlier we would have prodded you for more. We did not prod. We do not care.

I can tell you're lying to me...

I can tell you're lying to me. There are a few tale-tell signs.

• You look away as you're answering- down to the right to be exact.
  
• You answer way to fast- clearly you thought over your answer before I asked the question. You knew it was coming.
• Yet as quickly as you answered you sounded a little uncertain.
  

I know you lied- it was the stupid thing too. Why do it then?

You give me no warning!!

Hi your mom is visiting. You told me yesterday, she arrived today. NOT COOL.

Colds.

Now I'm all snuffy. hmpf.

Marathons

People who run them are just too self righteous for me. OH I'm helping raise money for research AND I am in phenomenal shape. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Ghost Blogs

People who desert blogs after the honeymoon period. We all get infatuated with a blog as we start a new one. We post five times a day and we see everything as an opportunity to post. After a week or two our posts go down to one a week. I promise not to let that happen to this blog BUT I am not a professional blogger. I have real work to do. Said work usually means restrictions on things like blogging, cooking, sleeping ie anything that is required for real life. For example on the other two counts- I cook one meals a week for myself. I sleep approximately 4 hours a night. I know a little post would take three minutes max but there is also the break in concentration that is needed to step away from my real work and concentrate only on this and then get back into my other work- usually 40 minutes.

You take the high road

Yelllow? Sometimes I like being a vindictive brat because you piss me off. And what do you do? Take the high road???? Yeah please stop that....play into my pettiness. Hmfp.